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Finding yourself


Winter Solstice Clearing Ritual: 4 Questions to Help Find yourself!

winter solstice ritual.jpg

Happy winter solstice! Each season plays its part in the greater whole. Winter is a time of reflection, regeneration, and renewal in preparation for the new birth cycle of spring. In other words, it’s a great time to take stock; observe your life, experiences, choices, goals etc. Identify that which you have learned from and are ready to discard and that which you will carry forward with you into the new year.

Activities to facilitate and inspire reflection:

  • Take a walk alone out in nature, let the invigoration of the weather that surrounds you stimulate your senses and thoughts.

  • Take a candle lit bath with fresh herbs to awaken your soul and relax your body.

  • Sit by a roaring fire, indoors or out. If that is not possible, light several candles in an otherwise dark room, get cozy under a blanket and let the dancing, flickering flames relax you.

A few things to ponder as you choose what to let go of and what to carry forward for the coming new year:

  • What were the three best choices I made this year that truly aligned me with my true self ?

  • Moving forward, what three things do I need to let go of in order to be true to myself and live a life that speaks to my soul?

  • What can I forgive in myself and others?

  • What three feeling words best describe what I want for myself in the coming year?

Its up to you as to how to process this information but I would write these insights down and revisit them frequently in the coming months as a reminder. Pro-tip- don’t write them down and then burn them in a dramatic “oh this is a fun solstice ritual” like I did last year. You might soon discover that you actually can’t remember half of your best herbal bath inspired insights.


Always love,




The Importance of Not Accepting the Stories That Others Try to Project Upon You

Always remember that you are the author of your own story- the Captain of your soul!

I talk a lot about vision and the importance of holding a positive vision both for yourself and those around you (what a gift!). I cannot stress how important this is! A vision can be positive or negative though so it’s helpful to beware of how they can seep into your mind and your life.  Every once in a while someone comes along and tries to tell me a story about myself and then I get to choose whether I accept and internalize it, or reject it.  This happened recently and so I’ve reflected on the now objective hilarity of a few other times when I rejected the stories of others in my life. Once you realize you have that choice and exercise your choice it becomes easier and easier to do so. Once you break free from the socialization of others you become more able to see it objectively and better able to discern through observation and intuition, which pieces of input and feedback are coming from a place of love and which ones are coming from the fear and lower vibrating emotions of others. You become more able to know intuitively which things resonate with you and which are just stories that either someone else is trying to get you to buy into or perhaps even that you have been telling yourself.

Someone recently hurled a bunch of really negative statements at me that were the opposite of pretty much everything I know to be true about myself. I know and love myself so if I am to accept this person’s story about me it would mean really changing my own view and opinion of me in a very negative way. I think you know me well enough to know that this is not going to happen. Still, being in shock I shared this with someone with whom I am very close and know extremely well. Their input was the polar opposite. So now I’ve got the input of two people and get to choose which story to accept, it’s just a matter of making that choice and moving on.

When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

This can also help us to reflect on our own communication style and emotional genesis of our communications with others as well as the vision that it creates in them. If someone is hurling insults at you, trying to get you to lower your opinion of yourself and what is possible in life then it is coming from their own hurt, anger and fears they are trying to project upon you. When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Back to the old stories though because they really illuminate how ridiculous it can be to blindly accept the stories that other people want to tell you about yourself (or you have begun to tell yourself thanks to the constant conditioning of those around you). About 20 years ago I was day dreaming outloud about having my own place and how much I looked forward to that. A family member proceeded to tell me that this would never be possible and that it would just be impossible for me to ever afford or have a place on my own, ever.  This seemed preposterous to me because at that time I already knew people with lower income and fewer skills than I had who in fact had their own places. So I protested and still they adamantly affirmed that this is what they believe to be true. I thought to myself, “well if I believed that to be true I should probably just kill myself right now because apparently I am inherently incapable of self-care and support.”  Story rejected immediately. But imagine what if I had let it seep in- what if I began to believe that story? How might my life have unfolded differently on so many levels? You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I knew a person who actually tried to convince me that literally everyone on the other side of my front door (yes the front door of my own home- imagine that!) was evil and out to hurt me. Well by now I’m all me and so of course I said to them, “no thanks.” He was shocked by my reply and asked what “no thanks” meant. So I explained that I supported his right to believe what he believes and that there was no need to debate it in anyway but that I do not accept this as my belief. Again in the back of my mind thinking “why would I ever leave my house or set out each day to experience and live any type of life if I really and truly believed that to be true.” Another example of a ridiculous story that, had I choose to believe it, would drastically have altered the course of my life in a negative way.

In this case the person believed that story- that was the story they told themselves. I have no idea how it got in their head but I do know them well enough to know that this belief or story has greatly affected their daily life. I don’t know where this story entered their life but I’m willing to bet their whole entire life might have played out differently had they realized they had the choice to reject it at any time and move in a different direction.

Why are the stories so important?

Why are the stories so important? You see these stories create your beliefs and your mindset. Your whole network of neural pathways gets built around these stories. The ability of your subconscious mind to lead you toward the different choices and options in every little nuance of life is directed by these stories, this vision. The stories that we choose to accept literally creates our reality. When you recognize a story coming your way always take a moment to check in with your intuition. Take a moment to observe the emotions and motivations of the person selling the story. Think about how buying into the story will change the way your life unfolds. It goes both ways- some stories are great and create a positive vision. Some are negative and eat away at your self-esteem and ability to prosper. Some things are not stories at all but sincere feedback coming from a place of love. Deep down we all know the difference, it’s just a matter of doing a little pattern interrupting and stepping back to look at these communications a bit more objectively when they are going on.

Like anything else this pattern interrupting will change your habit of being. Checking in with and trusting your intuition will strengthen it. Soon you will find yourself intuitively zigging and zagging through the clutter of emotion based communications from others with greater ease and self-confidence.  Who’s the author of your story anyway? You!



Best Transformative Books Recommendation

We are all in a constant state of evolution with knowledge folding over upon itself. One understanding adding to and playing upon another as we continuously become and move forward. To that end I love reading! I read and reflect and experiment with things in my life based on what I’ve learned and then make my own understandings and the process continues on and on. To that end, here are some of the most powerful books that I have read and of course a recommendation for my own book as well! Note that all links are affiliate links.  My hope is that some of these will speak to you and make the same impact in your life as they have in mine! Rather than include a description (you can read that on the site) I have pulled some of my favorite customer reviews to give you an idea of the content of each.

This book was recommended to me by the lovely and insightful Pamela Gold. I literally message her regularly thanking her because of the great impact it has had in my perspective of the world.

Sometimes I notice how much freedom this book and technique have given me - freedom from fear, and freedom to do whatever I want and not be enslaved by my emotions - that it nearly brings me to tears.

I’ve become so filled with love as I’ve let go of negative emotions. It’s like my entire body is filled with light — and actions and possibilities spring up naturally, no longer obscured by fear. It’s an incredible state of being and if you think it sounds silly or like nonsense, please reply to my comment and I will buy you a copy of this book. All I want is for people to know about this.
— Sean G- Amazon Review
Dr. Joe on Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, combines the science with the HOW TO apply the new discoveries that surround neuroplasticity on our daily lives. Is your life already good? Make it even better! Do you think it could be better? whether your answer is yes or not, this is a must read. I highly recommend this book.
— Claudia Ruize- Amazon Review
I love this book. Tolle describes ancient truths and applies them to life in the 21st century in a way that is inspiring and comforting. I took away from this book three simple, yet profound ideas. First and foremost, Tolle believes that we are all connected to each other and that everything we do matters and has an impact on our world. His second idea lies in the power of listening: he suggests that if we can quiet our egos long enough to truly listen, it is possible to feel a sacredness and inner harmony where everything has its perfect place. And lastly, the author speaks of the power of awareness. The moment you notice a pattern of behavior that is no longer working for you, you are a success.
— Susan, NYC- Amazon Review
This is the book to give free spirits the nudge toward financial liberation. Free Lark takes a breezy, conversational style and a light-hearted approach to improving your financial health. Backed by research and intriguing hints of personal experience, the book delivers both practical tips for lowering expenses and, more importantly, suggestions for prioritizing your budget to achieve the unbounded life adventure your soul seeks. Each chapter provides specific goals and steps to take for freeing yourself from economic bondage.
— Amazon Customer Review



Freeing Your Soul

Let your soul be light!

Let your soul be light!

In preparation for my new course,Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.


Is your soul free? Free to thrive, free to embrace whatever is happening at this very moment. Free to embrace whatever is coming next? Hints to the answer lie in your overall mood and attitude toward life. Think about the feelings, memories and emotions that are most strongly anchored in your mind, body and soul from day to day. The ones that keep popping up and seem to be driving your life. What are they? If you are like most people they are negative beliefs, emotions and feelings that your soul actually longs to be free from. We experience joy, bliss and happiness regularly and at many levels. Yet we don’t hang onto these. Your soul longs to be free and living in the moment, always ready for the next ecstatic experience . Unless of course, it is cluttered by these negative emotions. Isn’t it  time to give your soul the freedom it craves by releasing those negative emotions!

Once you break free of a few of the heavy emotions, The lightness becomes self-fulfilling. It begins to seem ludicrous to be heavy.

The natural rhythm of your soul vibrates around the higher level love emotions such as love, compassion, trust and joy. When your life follows suit, it is aligned with your soul and you are thriving. When the lower level emotions such as fear, resentment, anger and jealousy fill your life, your soul struggles and calls out to you for change.  When I started the process I “thought” I knew what I would find but was actually surprised by what surfaced and thankful to finally have the opportunity to free that from my soul and start becoming more light. Once you break free of a few of the heavy emotions, The lightness becomes self-fulfilling. It begins to seem ludicrous to be heavy or engage in thoughts, behaviors and relationships that pile on the heavy. As you enhance your connection to the natural rhythm of your soul, it naturally leads you to the choices in life that keep you light and moving forward.

So where do you begin? You can begin by opening  a dialog with your soul, what are you saying to each other? Journal your thoughts, feelings and emotions from a two way perspective. Think of the questions you might ask your soul and the questions it might ask you. Write these down and reflect on them. Go back after a day or two and extrapolate meaning, goals, plans and insights. What negative emotions are you ready to leave behind and why? What types of changes can you make in you behaviors and habits to move away from them and toward whatever ecstatic experience this moment has to offer?

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Why taking off the “I’m ok” face is critical to Evolving your Soul Wisdom

You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.

In preparation for my new course, Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.

Soul Wisdom is the product of your evolution. It is what your soul craves, it comes from learning. From experiences both joyful and painful. Those “mistakes” are just your soul asking you to learn and grow, to listen, to become self-observant and evolve your soul through them. If you ignore your souls calling and keep making the same mistakes, it will eventually stop checking in with you and you will always be what you have always been. Your soul will say, “see ya next time around.”  You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.  

Are you still maintaining the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

This is a powerful and important insight you can gift yourself. It gives you the permission to stop putting on your “I’m ok face”- both to yourself and others. To stop and become self-observant, self-aware and ask yourself, “what is my soul calling me to here?” Maybe you said or did something you wish you hadn’t ? Maybe you had a great achievement or feeling you did not truly celebrate and relish? It works both ways.  A few years back, I made a conscious decision to start doing this. I’ve grown more comfortable sharing both my triumphs and vulnerabilities with others, as well as looking at them more objectively within myself.   And guess what? Not only did the world not stop turning (as I had feared it might) but it got richer, deeper, more real. This is a constant growth process, you don’t just flip a switch,  but the more you do it, the more it synergizes and supports its own growth. Becoming more objectively self-aware you can now stop and reflect and consciously choose how to integrate your feelings and experiences and move forward instead of subconsciously focusing your efforts on maintaining  the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

In doing this you not only free yourself of emotional baggage (you’d be surprised to find out how and where that stuff is mucking up your soul system) but you also give others permission to do the same through your example and  acceptance of  their soul growth as well.

Hopefully you are following my weekly live "Wednesday's at 1" Facebook videos. You can always go back and check them out there. You can also find the archives of the videos on YouTube!