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The powerful scent of love and how you are killing it

A few years back I stopped using deodorants and switched to a Thai crystal for health reasons. If you would like to find out how safe or dangerous your own beauty products are (it’s shocking!) you can research them on the non-profit EWG database here.  Anyway, my son was hugging me one day and he said “you smell interesting… and not in an objectionable way.” He’s got such a cute way with words. But this trend continued and I heard that more and more. I’m a big fan of hugging and have had an inordinate amount of people that I’ve hugged tell me that I smell amazing. Now I do also sometimes wear essential oils but for the most part whatever these folks are picking up on is something natural (I use very few products across the board- more on that in a later post). So I decided to do a little research and what I found was very illuminating.

Many fascinating research studies have explored our natural attraction through the sense of smell. Here are a few highlights to peak you interest:

  • Although it was long held that humans did not have the vomeronasal organ (for  pheromone reception) or the olfactory bulb in the brain (to process scents) scientific research from the last 25 years has now confirmed that we do in fact have both of these.
  • Research indicates that women seem to favor the smells of men who have immune genes that differ from their own which would lead to stronger, more diverse offspring.
  • Traits that can be communicated through smell include body and facial symmetry, testosterone levels, and behavioral dominance.
  • During the fertile part of their cycle, women prefer the scent of men with higher levels of testosterone.
  • One study found that when men smelled the odor of a woman who was in her fertile cycle, their testosterone and cortisol levels increased.
  • Studies indicate that using a hormonal contraceptive effects a woman’s ability to detect the chemical “social scents” that men put off.
  • Humans possess denser skin concentrations of scent glands than almost any other mammal.
  • We have three major types of skin glands, one of which is the apocrine gland which exudes odorous steroids known to illicit sexual behavior in other mammals.
  • Human sweat, urine, breath, saliva, breast milk, skin oils, and sexual secretions all contain scent-communicating chemical compounds.

what do we do with all of these smelly super powers?

So let’s recap. Mother Nature has supplied us with everything we need to literally sniff out a mate and what do we do with all of these smelly super powers? We cover them up with artificial scents and products! Think about how many products you use and the scents of each. Soaps, moisturizers, shampoo, toners, deodorants, perfumes and that is just what you are putting on your body. What about laundry products, detergents and fabric softeners, dryer sheets and all of the artificial scents that are now wafting off of you through these?

acceptance by the tribe

And why do we do all of this? To be perceived as being more desirable, in short  to, be accepted and  loved. Love is the most primal desire of a human being. We all want to engage in love and so we do what the marketing of products has conditioned us to do which is to purchase and slather upon ourselves things which we think will make us smell more desirable (or acceptable) to others. This is not just in searching for a mate but also in general “acceptance by the tribe”. We pick up pretty early in life that the “stinky kid” is not a part of the group and no one wants to be that guy so we go full tilt in the opposite direction with grooming, hygiene and product use that far exceeds the necessity of regular day to day human hygiene. Why do we all do this? We are literally saturated with marketing that plays on these fears and desires. If you really reflect on the marketing of your favorite products you begin to see how your perceived sense of need for this product has been formed. Then you can step away from that outside influence and start making your own choices. Personally, I really do sniff out my friends. If you carry a heavy smell of dryer sheets and perfume we probably won’t be spending a lot of time together. You see, once you clean up your own system you will quickly realize how unnatural and naturally off putting these smells are. And don’t even get me started on how much money you will save. Hmm. Seems like a win- are you ready?

A word of preparedness. If you are inspired to give up some products you should know what to expect. Our bodies adjust to whatever ridiculous environmental conditions we subject them to. If you’ve ever forgotten your deodorant on a weekend road trip, you’ve probably determined this is not a product you can live without for a few days. It takes time for your body to return to its ideal and natural state of functioning. The truth is that you will need to be more proactive for the first few weeks with a warm washcloth freshen up a few times a day. However, you will soon find that this dissipates and will become pleasantly surprised at how well your body regulates itself without the constant intrusion of harsh outside influences.


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The future of the Nacirema

I minored in anthropology in college and find it fascinating to look at the experience of life from the perspective of other cultures. One of the most illuminating is the Nacirema tribe of North America. I learned about them from the work of Horace Miner and new studies indicate even more bizarre ritualistic behavior than previously observed. 

It seems that every tribe member is born with an infinite supply of evol. Evol is believed to be the root of evolution. It sustains life and spirit in every way. It contains baffling  synergistic power when combined with the evol of others. Although researchers have concluded that it is indeed infinite and still remains in all tribe members, for some reason they rarely choose to activate or utilize their evol.

Researchers believe it is related to the introduction of yenom. Though few have actually seen the yenom, the leaders assure the tribes people that it exists and that it is of paramount importance that they earn points in the yenom system. Although it’s unclear why, all of the tribe members live in silent agreement that the yenom does in fact exist. They base their activities, relationships and pursuits within the tribe on the accumulation of points in the yenom system.

Studies indicate that although the yenom itself has no intrinsic value or power, it is in fact somehow related to the exchange of the natural power of the evol  that the tribesman are born with. For reasons unknown, the tribespeople willingly allow their evol to lie dormant most of the time, instead prioritizing the pursuit of points in the yenom system. Some scientist hypothesize that the return to the evol system would create a radical shift in the quality of life for the tribe as a whole. Though few seem willing to do so, instead following in silent agreement to the words and direction of the leaders of the tribe. Even more fascinating is the evidence that the leaders show no indication of the natural evol that is inherent to the tribe members. For this reason, it is difficult to predict what the future of the Nacirema holds.



Leveraging the Zombie Apocalypse to Improve Your Relationship

I was sitting on the roof the other night, with my neighbor, discussing what we would do if there was a zombie apocalypse and we were the last, and only person on earth. We both agreed we would find the coolest high performance car we could and just drive like crazy for a few hours, tearing it up. Then we very quickly realized how lonely it would be. Being that there were no other people on earth there would be nothing to live for and we agreed we would probably just be ok with dying. So it got me thinking about the people who are in fact still here and appreciating them more. This off course led me to the idea of perspective and choosing or not choosing to appreciate the people around me.

Not currently being in a relationship I’ve been working on objectively observing those around me who are to get ideas about what to do and not do when I am. One thing I’ve observed is an awful lot of nit picking. I think when we are in a relationship ourselves we don’t notice this as much simply because we are joining in, playing along with the band so to speak. However, from where I’m standing right now, I do see it. Sometimes it’s almost as if they don’t even want to like the other person? Sometimes it’s not that bad. We all fall within the spectrum somewhere from time to time though for a variety of reasons.  

So I ask you; If your partner were the only other person on earth that you had for companionship, would it really matter that they tap their toothbrush on the sink or stop to throw the laundry in the dryer even though you’re running late? I’m talking about the little things here. Little things we can choose to focus on or choose to let go? The more you consciously choose to  let those things go, the more it becomes habit (automatic, subconscious) to not even notice them and then, not even be bothered by them anymore. Try it, you will see!  However there is a bigger win to be had here as well. When we fill the space between us and another person with these low vibrating negative emotions and energies that is what we get. It literally dictates what manifests in our relationship. When we clear this space, we make room for higher vibrating, creation emotions to come in and fill the space. That’s the sweet spot, I’m pretty sure.

Hopefully there won’t be a zombie apocalypse. But just in case, why not appreciate each other now while we’re all still here.



Why vision is the greatest gift we can give one another

A visionary is someone who thinks about and plans the future with imagination and wisdom. We are all inherently true visionaries at our core. Daydreaming of the possibilities in life inevitably leaves you with a smile on your face and warmth in your soul. Brining those dreams to fruition empowers our intuitive knowing that whatever we can dream and believe in, we can also achieve.  With the vision and birth of each dream we strengthen an unshakable belief. A belief that what is born through intuitive knowing in our imagination can be brought to life and made possible. The more we experience this, the stronger it becomes and the more able we become in bringing our dreams to life. Through this constant cycle of dreaming, realizing our dreams and then dreaming bigger still, we find our lives taking on meaning and purpose, the world becoming a better place, and the inevitable evolution of life continuing on its due course.

How many times have you imagined a possibility and thought to yourself. “It’s a little crazy, a little outside the norm, but hey maybe that could really be?”  You might keep your vision to yourself and work toward it. You might find success and those around you will say “wow, you go, that’s super cool”.  But that’s a long lonely road to go and frankly not much fun. Success comes most often through trial and error, learning, adapting and holding the vision of the light in your mind until it finally begins to flicker and catch fire. There are so many opportunities to let go, walk away, and settle back into the familiarity of what is rather than to continue to reach for what could be.

Now imagine if someone shared your vision, how much easier does it become to hold on, to keep moving forward, and to overcome hurdles and obstacles. Infinitely easier!  Just to have one person share your vision, to see the possibility, empowers you in almost immeasurable ways. It’s that little extra bit of oxygen you need to keep the sparks blowing when the flames have not yet taken hold. It’s turning around when you want to quit and seeing that person behind you shooing you onward. It’s the hand on your back that makes the last mile bearable. Though seemingly unremarkable, sharing the vision of another is one of the greatest things we can do for one another.



You are everyone shareable

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How to Identify and Overcome Little Fears and Why It Matters


I recently joined a synchronized swimming troop. Every Thursday at 5:30 I ruin about twenty minutes of my life trying to talk myself out of going and then I go anyway. I always leave the pool feeling like a million dollars so I began to wonder why I was self-sabotaging this amazing experience. It didn’t take long to realize there were a bunch of little fears working their magic like little joy parasites. I rolled my eyes and sighed at the realization, “oh my gosh, Oh my goodness- ok, I got this.”

What am I afraid of?

What am I afraid of here? Well rejection for one and failure for another. I’m walking into an established tight knit group where I am new and don’t know anyone. I’m literally afraid of treading water all by myself, not participating in locker room banter. Not being picked for a formation team.  On top of that I have not learned a new physical skill in forever. I’m afraid of not being able to do the lifts, master the form, flow beautifully through fluid formations.

When I made my excuses every Thursday, I did not realize these were at play. These were subconscious fears that I realized only upon closer inspection were bubbling beneath the surface and showing up as “its too cold today” and “I should probably stay home and mend all of my torn sweaters.”  

Moving beyond fear.

Then I was able to put my fears in the crosshairs. Just by recognizing them, individually, giving them names and bringing them to the light I could pick them off one by one. How can I get to know these ladies better? I can listen, I can ask questions, I can learn about them. I can be patient for crying out loud, that is how relationships are formed. Sticking that complex formation on my first try? Yeah right! How has my adult mind been duped into thinking this is how anything works? Hello? Revel in the progress! I’ll start by not sinking it can only get better from there.

So needless to say at the first inkling of what I now know is a fear response I  play the old west high noon dual showdown whistle in my head and take my position. Instead of feeding it at all, I replay in my mind how great it felt to master sculling for almost an entire width of the pool. How much fun it was to view the formations from under water and gain a better understanding of their inner workings. Small victories right! It seems like small stuff, but it’s all small stuff and yet it’s critical. Here’s why…

Developing new ways of thinking.

At its core, this practice is all about developing new neural pathways for your brain to call upon. Left unchecked, little fears become big fears and eventually habits of the mind. You literally are creating pathways in your brain when you experience thoughts and emotions. Have that same fear over and over again, feed into it, let it take hold and it’s created one and only one well-worn thought path in your brain. So now you’re only available thought pattern leads to fear. Something happens and the fear brain kicks in and says “that’s ok, I got this, I know the way” and off it goes. When you create a new thought pattern you create more alternative pathways for your brain to explore as responses and then you can break the pattern of fear based thinking. As you identify and then move beyond one small fear after another you build upon your collection of positive possibility pathways in your brain. When you do this, new pathways and possibilities are opened up and who doesn’t love new possibilities!

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We are all made of stars shareable

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Power of words shareable

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Shine Shareable

And this is one of my ALL TIME faves! Head on over to the free shareables page and grab and share my latest free social graphic. Post it on your facebook wall, instagram it, send it to friends & enjoy the positive vibes. Click the image to see more, right click and save to enjoy!