In my house we have a bitch once rule. You get to bitch about something once (bitching is important- more on that in a moment) and then you must either take steps toward resolution or choose acceptance. It’s so simple but let’s look at the beauty behind it to better understand why it’s so critical to liberating your mind.
Bitching = Clarity!
Ok, maybe we could call it venting but bitching just feels more like a great energy release don’t you think? In fact that is what it is. You release the negative energy related to the situation (rather than bottling up or suppressing it). Venting, if you will ;-) is a really important part of the process. It also enables you to think through and articulate your issue more carefully which enables you to better understand it. Venting is healthy. Articulating your issues and feelings in a non-confrontational andnon-judgmental way, as much as is possible, is good. If it’s a first (and only, in my house) bitch I try to let the choice of words and tone of voice slide a little bit.
Problem Solving Gone Wrong. When you Accidentally Build an Extensive Network of Negativity.
Once you have vented, better clarified and articulated your issues, if you continue to go over it in your mind or verbally, it then turns into rumination. By going over things again and again in your mind you are cutting a deep and extensive network of negative neural pathways in your own brain. Is that what you want? When new issues arise you then have this extensive network of negative thoughts which your mind will most easily turn to, heading you down the same path again and again. This process also sends chemical and peptide signals to every cell in your body. Because the cells are receiving these signals so frequently they then develop specific receptors just for these types of signals. Put more simply, you physically become addicted to these negative emotions and thoughts! This again keeps the cycle going as you subconsciously seek out and return to these same negative emotions and experiences to which your body and mind has become adapted to.
There’s a Better Way.
So you’ve articulated your issue, feelings and concerns. Great! Now what? Now you must decide, or perhaps experiment with, the two alternatives of working toward a resolution or simply moving toward acceptance on the issue. The process of a resolution depends on the nature of the matter. A resolution might be found in a few easy and practical steps, or it might be a more involved process. You may find a successful solution or you may have to reevaluate the option of acceptance. Sometimes you can jump right to acceptance. It’s fascinating how many problems actually work themselves out when you just let go and allow the natural processes to take their course! Acceptance is not defeat or resignation, no far from it! Think too about how what you resist persists and the incredible power that lies within acceptance. Our habits of going down in a blaze of fire and clinging to negative circumstances are based more on the programing that has conditioned us to think this way than any real practical results from such ongoing activity.
Acceptance is Not Resignation
We think of resignation as admitting defeat and giving up. Resignation comes with lower vibrating negative emotions such as resentment and fear. Acceptance is a higher vibrating emotion and brings with it more possibilities, freedom and relief. In fact the definition is: “the act of accepting something or someone”. Through acceptance you relinquish your negative emotions toward the person, choice, situation or event. Accepting that for whatever reason and in whatever way, the event, choice, action etc. was the best that could be at that given time, mindset and situation. By accepting you liberate yourself and others from the psychological, emotional and spiritual conditions of that moment and create a clean slate on which everyone can now evolve, grow and move forward. In resignation you continue to let the power of your mind be held prisoner by another. Through acceptance you take back control of your own thinking, neural pathway development and ability to move forward intuitively.
None the less, now that you are thinking consciously about these options, you can experiment with them. Through your own experiences, you will soon discern what type of meaning and value these options offer to you in your life and various challenges. Also keep in mind that challenges are opportunities to evolve, which is the natural order of all things. Constantly flowing, interrelating and evolving is the natural order of all things in the universe. To work against this natural system creates stagnant conflict. To flow with it creates synergy and growth.
Through the inevitable trial and error of searching for a resolution you will learn, evolve and grow. Through acceptance you will clear up space in that beautiful mind of yours for far more prosperous and rewarding thoughts, neural networks and outcomes. In acceptance you also move away from the constant struggle of the thinking brain to the more intuitive and metaphysically empowered processes of the intuitive still mind.