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Intuition: You Already Know What to Do


You already know what to do- you do! The truth is that for any question, issues, decision, at any moment, you know in your heart whether you want to zig or to zag. Its just that we are not taught to trust, follow and be ok with our own intuition. We think, strategize and play it “safe” by neither zigging nor zagging but instead taking that slow boring path straight down the middle. Why? Because everyone else is doing it. Everything about how we are all raised and conditioned by each other teaches us to follow the crowd and to look for solutions from the outside in. Is it any wonder we are frustrated and bored? Any wonder the “outside in” solutions just lead to more of a void and bewilderment?


You already know what to do. Time to start feeling, using and trusting your own intuition and see where that takes you. You’re gonna take a few dead ends and have some unexpected experiences. That makes life interesting! That is where we feel alive. That is where we are truly present in the moment. That is where we enhance our own self-love. That is where we learn and grow. We all naturally crave growth in life (in so many more meaningful and interesting ways than we tend to limit ourselves to). When we are not growing, we are dying. Is life really just supposed to be a slow painful death of consciousness where we technically keep our bodies alive and get pats on the back for paying our bills and moving up the corporate ladder? Could there be more to it? Could we discover what more there is by listening to our intuition instead of taking the well-traveled path?

Well you’ll never know unless you try it out right? What have you got to lose? If you jump off the train that everyone else is running to catch every once in a while it’s no big deal. You know there is another one coming down the line, right behind that one anyway. 




Problem Solving Gone Wrong? Free Your Mind with the Bitch Once Rule

Through the inevitable trial and error of searching for a resolution you will learn, evolve and grow. Through acceptance you will clear up space in that beautiful mind of yours for far more prosperous and rewarding thoughts, neural networks and outcomes. In acceptance you also move away from the constant struggle of the thinking brain to the more intuitive and metaphysically empowered processes of the still mind.



Re-Learning to Do the Right Things for the Right Reasons for Whoever You Are Right Now

Everything in our lives is a choice. We choose words, actions, experiences, and relationships. Every moment of everyday is a series of small and large choices.  There are three potential reasons why we make our choices in life.

1.       Fear of repercussions- Society is chock full of guidelines, rules and associated repercussion at all levels. We are conditioned to adhere blindly to these when making choices at the cost of knowing and trusting our own inner guide for fear of the repercussions.  

2.       Desire for acceptance & love- Many choices are based in a desire for acceptance by others, someone in particular, a group, community, organization or society as a whole. Again at the cost of considering and turning to your inner self for guidance.  

3.       Intuitive knowing and guidance by your inner self- Only you know the right choice for you at any given moment during your constant evolutionary process of life. We all have the natural ability to love and trust ourselves and turn to our inner selves for guidance in life, we are just conditioned not to use it and have become out of practice.

For the most part, we are all conditioned and taught to automatically (subconsciously) make choices based on the first two reasons. Think about how heavily both sides of this coin are ingrained into us in every aspect of life from birth on. We are never taught about the self-love and self-acceptance that allows us the freedom to trust our own inner knowing. It’s just not taught and there are very few role models from which to learn it. In fact the opposite is true. Most of our experiences (especially during childhood when our behavioral patterns are being formed) reinforce the first and second choice making mindsets within us. And so we spend much of our lives giving up our inherent emotional/spiritual power and living in fear of punishment and a fear of not being loved and accepted should we follow our own true inner voice.

What does intuitive knowing and guidance look like?

In its ideal form you love and trust yourself. You look inward for split second guidance to make choices. Through the long evolutionary experience of life you will make choices that resonate positively with your inner self and those that do not. Because you love yourself you are able to access and adjust accordingly based on wherever and whoever you are at that particular moment in your life. Without labeling yourself and suppressing and internalizing fear and shame, you recognize an internally based desire to make a varying choice next time and move freely on to the next moment with this new self-directed insight. The concept of learning lessons from life is a valid but the notion of carrying it around like baggage for the rest of your life is weighing us down. The idea of learning lessons based on others or societies expectations of us at that very moment is dysfunctional. When you know and love yourself and are comfortable trusting your inner voice you are more able to accept that some choices did not serve you well without punishing or judging yourself. You are able to move on without that emotional burden and keep moving in the natural flow of your life.

The right thing is different for everyone, every day.

We are each unique and always evolving. The saying “you never step in the same river twice” is profoundly true. What you find to intuitively be the right choice for who you are at any given time will change. So again, you are not self-labeling. The long series of choices in your life do not become “who you are” they were simply made by whoever you were at the time that you made them. Your self- loving, self-trusting self is moving onward and always in the flow of the now without carrying shame. Since we experience and recognize this within ourselves we also become able to respect the same process going on for others. You might not have made the choice that someone else made but if they have truly made it based on reason #3 (again this is ideal, keep reading and you’ll see where I am going with this) you respect their choice and the importance that plays in their own evolutionary process, still holding them in high regard with love and respect.

I know what you’re going to say…  

But Kristen, what about the heinous and stupid crap that people do to each other every day? How can you keep people from doing that if you don’t threaten them with repercussions or reward them with love and acceptance? I would say that we have cultivated this in individuals with the very system of teaching people to use reasons 1 & 2 to make decisions rather than teaching them the fundamentals of life such as self- love, intuition and knowing and trusting their inner selves. If everyone were fundamentally taught to love and trust themselves, to look inward and trust their own intuitive inner knowing to guide their choices in life we wouldn’t have all of the systemic issues in our society that foster the development of these behavioral patterns in the first place.

Wait! There is one more thing.

I know what else you’re probably thinking. “Great idea Kristen, I can see it, but it’s too late, our society is too much of a mess for this, what good is going to do if I start living and interacting with others based on this concept, society as whole would collapse if we got rid of behavioral motivators 1 & 2.” Well here is the thing (and I’d like to thank someone whom I think is awesome, for putting this reminder on my chalkboard wall) “be the change you wish to see in the world”! Live by example, teach the children, pebbles on the pile.  By having the experience yourself of consciously making decisions based on the third reason/process, you will be forever changed. After a while the process will become subconscious and more automatic and you will find that it changes the way you perceive things.  Others will learn by example which is exactly how we all ended up learning to adopt the decision making behavioral patterns of 1 & 2 in the first place.



The Importance of Not Accepting the Stories That Others Try to Project Upon You

Always remember that you are the author of your own story- the Captain of your soul!

I talk a lot about vision and the importance of holding a positive vision both for yourself and those around you (what a gift!). I cannot stress how important this is! A vision can be positive or negative though so it’s helpful to beware of how they can seep into your mind and your life.  Every once in a while someone comes along and tries to tell me a story about myself and then I get to choose whether I accept and internalize it, or reject it.  This happened recently and so I’ve reflected on the now objective hilarity of a few other times when I rejected the stories of others in my life. Once you realize you have that choice and exercise your choice it becomes easier and easier to do so. Once you break free from the socialization of others you become more able to see it objectively and better able to discern through observation and intuition, which pieces of input and feedback are coming from a place of love and which ones are coming from the fear and lower vibrating emotions of others. You become more able to know intuitively which things resonate with you and which are just stories that either someone else is trying to get you to buy into or perhaps even that you have been telling yourself.

Someone recently hurled a bunch of really negative statements at me that were the opposite of pretty much everything I know to be true about myself. I know and love myself so if I am to accept this person’s story about me it would mean really changing my own view and opinion of me in a very negative way. I think you know me well enough to know that this is not going to happen. Still, being in shock I shared this with someone with whom I am very close and know extremely well. Their input was the polar opposite. So now I’ve got the input of two people and get to choose which story to accept, it’s just a matter of making that choice and moving on.

When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

This can also help us to reflect on our own communication style and emotional genesis of our communications with others as well as the vision that it creates in them. If someone is hurling insults at you, trying to get you to lower your opinion of yourself and what is possible in life then it is coming from their own hurt, anger and fears they are trying to project upon you. When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Back to the old stories though because they really illuminate how ridiculous it can be to blindly accept the stories that other people want to tell you about yourself (or you have begun to tell yourself thanks to the constant conditioning of those around you). About 20 years ago I was day dreaming outloud about having my own place and how much I looked forward to that. A family member proceeded to tell me that this would never be possible and that it would just be impossible for me to ever afford or have a place on my own, ever.  This seemed preposterous to me because at that time I already knew people with lower income and fewer skills than I had who in fact had their own places. So I protested and still they adamantly affirmed that this is what they believe to be true. I thought to myself, “well if I believed that to be true I should probably just kill myself right now because apparently I am inherently incapable of self-care and support.”  Story rejected immediately. But imagine what if I had let it seep in- what if I began to believe that story? How might my life have unfolded differently on so many levels? You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I knew a person who actually tried to convince me that literally everyone on the other side of my front door (yes the front door of my own home- imagine that!) was evil and out to hurt me. Well by now I’m all me and so of course I said to them, “no thanks.” He was shocked by my reply and asked what “no thanks” meant. So I explained that I supported his right to believe what he believes and that there was no need to debate it in anyway but that I do not accept this as my belief. Again in the back of my mind thinking “why would I ever leave my house or set out each day to experience and live any type of life if I really and truly believed that to be true.” Another example of a ridiculous story that, had I choose to believe it, would drastically have altered the course of my life in a negative way.

In this case the person believed that story- that was the story they told themselves. I have no idea how it got in their head but I do know them well enough to know that this belief or story has greatly affected their daily life. I don’t know where this story entered their life but I’m willing to bet their whole entire life might have played out differently had they realized they had the choice to reject it at any time and move in a different direction.

Why are the stories so important?

Why are the stories so important? You see these stories create your beliefs and your mindset. Your whole network of neural pathways gets built around these stories. The ability of your subconscious mind to lead you toward the different choices and options in every little nuance of life is directed by these stories, this vision. The stories that we choose to accept literally creates our reality. When you recognize a story coming your way always take a moment to check in with your intuition. Take a moment to observe the emotions and motivations of the person selling the story. Think about how buying into the story will change the way your life unfolds. It goes both ways- some stories are great and create a positive vision. Some are negative and eat away at your self-esteem and ability to prosper. Some things are not stories at all but sincere feedback coming from a place of love. Deep down we all know the difference, it’s just a matter of doing a little pattern interrupting and stepping back to look at these communications a bit more objectively when they are going on.

Like anything else this pattern interrupting will change your habit of being. Checking in with and trusting your intuition will strengthen it. Soon you will find yourself intuitively zigging and zagging through the clutter of emotion based communications from others with greater ease and self-confidence.  Who’s the author of your story anyway? You!



Replacing Fear with Self-confidence

You know that crappy feeling in your gut when something is going on (in your mind usually) and you feel that old familiar feeling of fear brewing? It sucks and the sooner you can dissipate it, the more able you become to face and move away from whatever it is that is stimulating that feeling of fear inside you.

First let’s look at where the fear coming from? Putting aside the “I’m in the jungle facing a lion who is about to eat me” situation, fear is almost always an emotion that we generate or at least fuel within ourselves. The catalysts might be an event or person or situation in life but ultimately the extent to which that fear takes hold is determined within each of us. In most cases you can trace the root of fear to one of these causes:

1.      Indecision: Once we know what course of action we want to take, we feel confident and inspired to move forward.

2.      Doubt: Once we eliminate doubt the end result becomes irrelevant because we have full acceptance, confidence and self-love right here, right now and nothing more needs to occur. We have replaced out self-doubt with confidence and self-love.

When we become decisive and self-confident that  fear becomes replaced with resolve, ingenuity, enthusiasm & visions forwhatever greater future we see ourselves moving toward as well as acceptance for who and where we are right now.  At this point, no matter what is going on in your life you become infinitely more capable of navigating it with peace in your heart  and focused energy and vision in your mind.

So how can you move from indecision & doubt to decisiveness and confidence? By trusting your intuition and leaning into your own self-love you can quickly move from fear paralysis to inspired action. We all already have the answers within us, within our own consciousness. We have just been taught to look outside of ourselves for the answers. We have been taught to take a much less productive course of action when it comes to thinking through problems and our own emotions. Rather than looking within, becoming comfortable with our own intuitive knowing and moving forward confidently, we are taught to think about outside solutions, influences, possible outcomes and weigh and second guess all possible outcomes. At which point we either choose a course of action and hope for the best or choose to do nothing and remain in our situation.

We’ve all done this because we learn it through the conditioning of almost everyone around us. Few of us are blessed with a role model who teaches us by example, how to trust our intuition and move forward confidently when faced with a pivot point in life. Nope. We’re going to think that stuff through, make a bunch of list, weigh the pros and cons of every choice and overthink ourselves right into a deeper and more gripping fear.

How much of your fear is really based on the fact that intuitively you know you are not following your heart, not being true to yourself?

Ask yourself this. How much of your fear is really based on the fact that intuitively you know you are not following your heart, not being true to yourself? How much of it is bases on the idea that you are letting yourself downby seeking answers outside of yourself? Probably a lot of it! In this way all of that thinking and planning and strategizing just erodes your self-confidence and your connection to your inner self.

Try Something different! The next time you feel fear creeping in (fears about money, love, your station in life, a specific event or situation, which college to choose or job to take- whatever!)  try this approach.

  • Close your eyes and take several deep breaths
  • Let your body relax
  • Remind yourself by repeating aloud or in your head “I am wise and true and good and kind, I know intuitively, within me, exactly what I need to do”  repeat this several times as you continue to take deep breaths.
  • Let the fear feeling come for a visit and as it rolls around ask yourself “is this fear coming fromindecision or doubt”
  • Allow the answer to arise within you
  • If the root of the fear is indecision then repeat with each deep breath“I have the all of the answers within me and I intuitively know what to do”  Do this several times.
  • Next take a very deep breath and state “my decision is to_______” let your heart, mind and intuition fill in the blank with whatever comes first to mind.
  • If the root of the fear is doubt then repeat with each deep breath all of the positive features about yourself that prove this doubt wrong. For example if your fear is about a job that you are loosing you might repeat “I am highly skilled and will find an even better position that speaks to my soul “I am an amazing teacher and will find an even more flexible and rewarding position.” Etc. 


How to Use Stream of Consciousness Writing to Enhance Intuition & Work Through Blocks


How to Use Stream of Consciousness Writing to Enhance Intuition & Work Through Blocks

Two questions for you. One, how many times have you used stream of consciousness writing to enhance your intuition and work through blocks or issues? Never? Say whaaaat?  Okay then, how many times have you turned to the internet to do research when you have a block or a problem in your life? Yep, you do multiple searches to get ideas and insights and then you think think think, that’s some real left brain stuff there. You see the left brain is analytical and that’s certainly helpful at times. The problem is that we have come to rely on it almost exclusively. By not exercising our intuitive right brain, we are missing out on a powerful resource in our block and problem solving toolbox. The answers are all right here (points to head). Like anything else, the more you use it, the stronger it will become.