Viewing entries tagged
finding yourself


Winter Solstice Clearing Ritual: 4 Questions to Help Find yourself!

winter solstice ritual.jpg

Happy winter solstice! Each season plays its part in the greater whole. Winter is a time of reflection, regeneration, and renewal in preparation for the new birth cycle of spring. In other words, it’s a great time to take stock; observe your life, experiences, choices, goals etc. Identify that which you have learned from and are ready to discard and that which you will carry forward with you into the new year.

Activities to facilitate and inspire reflection:

  • Take a walk alone out in nature, let the invigoration of the weather that surrounds you stimulate your senses and thoughts.

  • Take a candle lit bath with fresh herbs to awaken your soul and relax your body.

  • Sit by a roaring fire, indoors or out. If that is not possible, light several candles in an otherwise dark room, get cozy under a blanket and let the dancing, flickering flames relax you.

A few things to ponder as you choose what to let go of and what to carry forward for the coming new year:

  • What were the three best choices I made this year that truly aligned me with my true self ?

  • Moving forward, what three things do I need to let go of in order to be true to myself and live a life that speaks to my soul?

  • What can I forgive in myself and others?

  • What three feeling words best describe what I want for myself in the coming year?

Its up to you as to how to process this information but I would write these insights down and revisit them frequently in the coming months as a reminder. Pro-tip- don’t write them down and then burn them in a dramatic “oh this is a fun solstice ritual” like I did last year. You might soon discover that you actually can’t remember half of your best herbal bath inspired insights.


Always love,




Re-Learning to Do the Right Things for the Right Reasons for Whoever You Are Right Now

Everything in our lives is a choice. We choose words, actions, experiences, and relationships. Every moment of everyday is a series of small and large choices.  There are three potential reasons why we make our choices in life.

1.       Fear of repercussions- Society is chock full of guidelines, rules and associated repercussion at all levels. We are conditioned to adhere blindly to these when making choices at the cost of knowing and trusting our own inner guide for fear of the repercussions.  

2.       Desire for acceptance & love- Many choices are based in a desire for acceptance by others, someone in particular, a group, community, organization or society as a whole. Again at the cost of considering and turning to your inner self for guidance.  

3.       Intuitive knowing and guidance by your inner self- Only you know the right choice for you at any given moment during your constant evolutionary process of life. We all have the natural ability to love and trust ourselves and turn to our inner selves for guidance in life, we are just conditioned not to use it and have become out of practice.

For the most part, we are all conditioned and taught to automatically (subconsciously) make choices based on the first two reasons. Think about how heavily both sides of this coin are ingrained into us in every aspect of life from birth on. We are never taught about the self-love and self-acceptance that allows us the freedom to trust our own inner knowing. It’s just not taught and there are very few role models from which to learn it. In fact the opposite is true. Most of our experiences (especially during childhood when our behavioral patterns are being formed) reinforce the first and second choice making mindsets within us. And so we spend much of our lives giving up our inherent emotional/spiritual power and living in fear of punishment and a fear of not being loved and accepted should we follow our own true inner voice.

What does intuitive knowing and guidance look like?

In its ideal form you love and trust yourself. You look inward for split second guidance to make choices. Through the long evolutionary experience of life you will make choices that resonate positively with your inner self and those that do not. Because you love yourself you are able to access and adjust accordingly based on wherever and whoever you are at that particular moment in your life. Without labeling yourself and suppressing and internalizing fear and shame, you recognize an internally based desire to make a varying choice next time and move freely on to the next moment with this new self-directed insight. The concept of learning lessons from life is a valid but the notion of carrying it around like baggage for the rest of your life is weighing us down. The idea of learning lessons based on others or societies expectations of us at that very moment is dysfunctional. When you know and love yourself and are comfortable trusting your inner voice you are more able to accept that some choices did not serve you well without punishing or judging yourself. You are able to move on without that emotional burden and keep moving in the natural flow of your life.

The right thing is different for everyone, every day.

We are each unique and always evolving. The saying “you never step in the same river twice” is profoundly true. What you find to intuitively be the right choice for who you are at any given time will change. So again, you are not self-labeling. The long series of choices in your life do not become “who you are” they were simply made by whoever you were at the time that you made them. Your self- loving, self-trusting self is moving onward and always in the flow of the now without carrying shame. Since we experience and recognize this within ourselves we also become able to respect the same process going on for others. You might not have made the choice that someone else made but if they have truly made it based on reason #3 (again this is ideal, keep reading and you’ll see where I am going with this) you respect their choice and the importance that plays in their own evolutionary process, still holding them in high regard with love and respect.

I know what you’re going to say…  

But Kristen, what about the heinous and stupid crap that people do to each other every day? How can you keep people from doing that if you don’t threaten them with repercussions or reward them with love and acceptance? I would say that we have cultivated this in individuals with the very system of teaching people to use reasons 1 & 2 to make decisions rather than teaching them the fundamentals of life such as self- love, intuition and knowing and trusting their inner selves. If everyone were fundamentally taught to love and trust themselves, to look inward and trust their own intuitive inner knowing to guide their choices in life we wouldn’t have all of the systemic issues in our society that foster the development of these behavioral patterns in the first place.

Wait! There is one more thing.

I know what else you’re probably thinking. “Great idea Kristen, I can see it, but it’s too late, our society is too much of a mess for this, what good is going to do if I start living and interacting with others based on this concept, society as whole would collapse if we got rid of behavioral motivators 1 & 2.” Well here is the thing (and I’d like to thank someone whom I think is awesome, for putting this reminder on my chalkboard wall) “be the change you wish to see in the world”! Live by example, teach the children, pebbles on the pile.  By having the experience yourself of consciously making decisions based on the third reason/process, you will be forever changed. After a while the process will become subconscious and more automatic and you will find that it changes the way you perceive things.  Others will learn by example which is exactly how we all ended up learning to adopt the decision making behavioral patterns of 1 & 2 in the first place.



The Importance of Not Accepting the Stories That Others Try to Project Upon You

Always remember that you are the author of your own story- the Captain of your soul!

I talk a lot about vision and the importance of holding a positive vision both for yourself and those around you (what a gift!). I cannot stress how important this is! A vision can be positive or negative though so it’s helpful to beware of how they can seep into your mind and your life.  Every once in a while someone comes along and tries to tell me a story about myself and then I get to choose whether I accept and internalize it, or reject it.  This happened recently and so I’ve reflected on the now objective hilarity of a few other times when I rejected the stories of others in my life. Once you realize you have that choice and exercise your choice it becomes easier and easier to do so. Once you break free from the socialization of others you become more able to see it objectively and better able to discern through observation and intuition, which pieces of input and feedback are coming from a place of love and which ones are coming from the fear and lower vibrating emotions of others. You become more able to know intuitively which things resonate with you and which are just stories that either someone else is trying to get you to buy into or perhaps even that you have been telling yourself.

Someone recently hurled a bunch of really negative statements at me that were the opposite of pretty much everything I know to be true about myself. I know and love myself so if I am to accept this person’s story about me it would mean really changing my own view and opinion of me in a very negative way. I think you know me well enough to know that this is not going to happen. Still, being in shock I shared this with someone with whom I am very close and know extremely well. Their input was the polar opposite. So now I’ve got the input of two people and get to choose which story to accept, it’s just a matter of making that choice and moving on.

When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

This can also help us to reflect on our own communication style and emotional genesis of our communications with others as well as the vision that it creates in them. If someone is hurling insults at you, trying to get you to lower your opinion of yourself and what is possible in life then it is coming from their own hurt, anger and fears they are trying to project upon you. When the genesis of the communication is love then we are able to share ideas and input in a way that empowers and uplifts each other.

You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Back to the old stories though because they really illuminate how ridiculous it can be to blindly accept the stories that other people want to tell you about yourself (or you have begun to tell yourself thanks to the constant conditioning of those around you). About 20 years ago I was day dreaming outloud about having my own place and how much I looked forward to that. A family member proceeded to tell me that this would never be possible and that it would just be impossible for me to ever afford or have a place on my own, ever.  This seemed preposterous to me because at that time I already knew people with lower income and fewer skills than I had who in fact had their own places. So I protested and still they adamantly affirmed that this is what they believe to be true. I thought to myself, “well if I believed that to be true I should probably just kill myself right now because apparently I am inherently incapable of self-care and support.”  Story rejected immediately. But imagine what if I had let it seep in- what if I began to believe that story? How might my life have unfolded differently on so many levels? You can easily see how ridiculous these stories are from a distance but close up they are riddled with emotion and can be a bit more tricky to navigate.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I knew a person who actually tried to convince me that literally everyone on the other side of my front door (yes the front door of my own home- imagine that!) was evil and out to hurt me. Well by now I’m all me and so of course I said to them, “no thanks.” He was shocked by my reply and asked what “no thanks” meant. So I explained that I supported his right to believe what he believes and that there was no need to debate it in anyway but that I do not accept this as my belief. Again in the back of my mind thinking “why would I ever leave my house or set out each day to experience and live any type of life if I really and truly believed that to be true.” Another example of a ridiculous story that, had I choose to believe it, would drastically have altered the course of my life in a negative way.

In this case the person believed that story- that was the story they told themselves. I have no idea how it got in their head but I do know them well enough to know that this belief or story has greatly affected their daily life. I don’t know where this story entered their life but I’m willing to bet their whole entire life might have played out differently had they realized they had the choice to reject it at any time and move in a different direction.

Why are the stories so important?

Why are the stories so important? You see these stories create your beliefs and your mindset. Your whole network of neural pathways gets built around these stories. The ability of your subconscious mind to lead you toward the different choices and options in every little nuance of life is directed by these stories, this vision. The stories that we choose to accept literally creates our reality. When you recognize a story coming your way always take a moment to check in with your intuition. Take a moment to observe the emotions and motivations of the person selling the story. Think about how buying into the story will change the way your life unfolds. It goes both ways- some stories are great and create a positive vision. Some are negative and eat away at your self-esteem and ability to prosper. Some things are not stories at all but sincere feedback coming from a place of love. Deep down we all know the difference, it’s just a matter of doing a little pattern interrupting and stepping back to look at these communications a bit more objectively when they are going on.

Like anything else this pattern interrupting will change your habit of being. Checking in with and trusting your intuition will strengthen it. Soon you will find yourself intuitively zigging and zagging through the clutter of emotion based communications from others with greater ease and self-confidence.  Who’s the author of your story anyway? You!



Freeing Your Soul

Let your soul be light!

Let your soul be light!

In preparation for my new course,Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.


Is your soul free? Free to thrive, free to embrace whatever is happening at this very moment. Free to embrace whatever is coming next? Hints to the answer lie in your overall mood and attitude toward life. Think about the feelings, memories and emotions that are most strongly anchored in your mind, body and soul from day to day. The ones that keep popping up and seem to be driving your life. What are they? If you are like most people they are negative beliefs, emotions and feelings that your soul actually longs to be free from. We experience joy, bliss and happiness regularly and at many levels. Yet we don’t hang onto these. Your soul longs to be free and living in the moment, always ready for the next ecstatic experience . Unless of course, it is cluttered by these negative emotions. Isn’t it  time to give your soul the freedom it craves by releasing those negative emotions!

Once you break free of a few of the heavy emotions, The lightness becomes self-fulfilling. It begins to seem ludicrous to be heavy.

The natural rhythm of your soul vibrates around the higher level love emotions such as love, compassion, trust and joy. When your life follows suit, it is aligned with your soul and you are thriving. When the lower level emotions such as fear, resentment, anger and jealousy fill your life, your soul struggles and calls out to you for change.  When I started the process I “thought” I knew what I would find but was actually surprised by what surfaced and thankful to finally have the opportunity to free that from my soul and start becoming more light. Once you break free of a few of the heavy emotions, The lightness becomes self-fulfilling. It begins to seem ludicrous to be heavy or engage in thoughts, behaviors and relationships that pile on the heavy. As you enhance your connection to the natural rhythm of your soul, it naturally leads you to the choices in life that keep you light and moving forward.

So where do you begin? You can begin by opening  a dialog with your soul, what are you saying to each other? Journal your thoughts, feelings and emotions from a two way perspective. Think of the questions you might ask your soul and the questions it might ask you. Write these down and reflect on them. Go back after a day or two and extrapolate meaning, goals, plans and insights. What negative emotions are you ready to leave behind and why? What types of changes can you make in you behaviors and habits to move away from them and toward whatever ecstatic experience this moment has to offer?

be sure to like my Facebook page to catch my live weekly videos or subscribe to watch the replays on Youtube.



Why taking off the “I’m ok” face is critical to Evolving your Soul Wisdom

You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.

In preparation for my new course, Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.

Soul Wisdom is the product of your evolution. It is what your soul craves, it comes from learning. From experiences both joyful and painful. Those “mistakes” are just your soul asking you to learn and grow, to listen, to become self-observant and evolve your soul through them. If you ignore your souls calling and keep making the same mistakes, it will eventually stop checking in with you and you will always be what you have always been. Your soul will say, “see ya next time around.”  You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.  

Are you still maintaining the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

This is a powerful and important insight you can gift yourself. It gives you the permission to stop putting on your “I’m ok face”- both to yourself and others. To stop and become self-observant, self-aware and ask yourself, “what is my soul calling me to here?” Maybe you said or did something you wish you hadn’t ? Maybe you had a great achievement or feeling you did not truly celebrate and relish? It works both ways.  A few years back, I made a conscious decision to start doing this. I’ve grown more comfortable sharing both my triumphs and vulnerabilities with others, as well as looking at them more objectively within myself.   And guess what? Not only did the world not stop turning (as I had feared it might) but it got richer, deeper, more real. This is a constant growth process, you don’t just flip a switch,  but the more you do it, the more it synergizes and supports its own growth. Becoming more objectively self-aware you can now stop and reflect and consciously choose how to integrate your feelings and experiences and move forward instead of subconsciously focusing your efforts on maintaining  the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

In doing this you not only free yourself of emotional baggage (you’d be surprised to find out how and where that stuff is mucking up your soul system) but you also give others permission to do the same through your example and  acceptance of  their soul growth as well.

Hopefully you are following my weekly live "Wednesday's at 1" Facebook videos. You can always go back and check them out there. You can also find the archives of the videos on YouTube!



You don’t have to know yourself to be yourself (in fact it’s probably better that way)

Maybe we should trade in knowing ourselves for being ourselves? 

Maybe we should trade in knowing ourselves for being ourselves? 

You don’t have to know yourself to be yourself (in fact it’s probably better that way)


I am huge fan of being yourself which I’ve realized lately is different than knowing yourself. Who am I? IDK and I don’t much care. It seems to me that in defining ourselves, we immediately limit ourselves. All possibilities are limitless until you apply the limits of your own thinking. Boundaries are an illusion of the mind. Reflect on your own triumphs for a moment and I think you will agree that you are capable of anything. What we do and how we show up in life changes from moment to moment. In trying to define those things and ourselves & others are we not just applying limits, judgment and expectations? And wait, then are we living in the moment, enjoying the journey? Hell to the NO.


Your are not the same person you were when you started reading this post. You are turning over 96 million cells per minute. You have been introduced to ideas that you are synthesizing and are possibly shifting your mindset. “Always changing you are” as Yoda might say.  So why not just be that person whoever he or she is and revel in that? Being you is quite liberating and changes from day to day, moment to moment.

I don’t know "who" you are but I do know that you are a radiant journey of spirit- be that, and as my Dad always tells me… “enjoy the journey.”  



5 Reasons you absolutely have to start doing what you want to do right now

The best time to unlock your potential and live your life to the fullest is right now!

The best time to unlock your potential and live your life to the fullest is right now!

Knowing what path to take at any juncture in life is far easier then we have made it out to be. In it most simple form this quote from St. Augustine sums up the reality of your choices: “Love and do what you will.” The truth is that in your gut and heart of hearts you know what you want to do.Even if you are not in tune with it, your intuition is always working.   If that want fits the bill of this one simple universal law, well then you are free to do it! Not doing what you want to do (when this law is met) is not caring for your soul, saying no to your dreams, robbing the world of your true light that is working so desperately to shine. You need to stop that right now and here’s why.

Love and do what you will.
— St. Augustine


1.      Trusting your intuition empowers you. The flow of your creation cycle is natural. You have an inherent knowing of  what, who and how your being is. Living within that flow frees you from “shoulds” and worries, releasing more of your own energy to put into yes’s and a forward movement that feels not only natural but empowering. When you learn through experience, to trust your intuition, you begin developing that all empowering sense of faith that will naturally guide your life.

2.      It enables you to break free from limiting beliefs of others. 95% of your actions and beliefs are generated in your subconscious mind. The current subconscious mindset that you hold now was created by a lifetime of input. If you have not been doing what you want to do then basically 95% of who you are right now is the result of the input of others. Umm, no, just no. When you begin to stop and consciously choose your choices, your beliefs, and your life, your subconscious mindset then begins to become your own and begins to become aligned with your super-conscious where your intuitive knowing resides.  This alignment is amazeballs and brings true freedom and enlightenment.

3.      It enables you to get back in touch with your dreams. Your hopes and dreams are the fuel of your soul. Igniting the spark and fanning the flames of your dreams is what truly makes you feel alive. While the input and support of others can be very beneficial, how many of your dreams have been put to rest by well-meaning input from others. Others will often project their own fears and lack of belief when encouraging you to take a certain course of action. They may lack the vision needed to encourage your dreams. On some level, they may feel safer when those around them share their own misery of not realizing their dreams. Trusting your inner voice fuels your dreams, allowing you to free yourself from the conflicting voices of friends, family and the media.

4.      It nurtures a vibrant, healthy body and mind. Stress is one of the biggest factors in disease of the body and mind. It leads directly to physical suffering, as well as anxiety, lack of motivation, social withdraw, over eating, anger and a whole host of bad things that nobody wants anything to do with. When you take back the power of your own choices, when you love and do what you will, you naturally eliminate most of the real and perceived sources of stress, opening you up to be the vibrant healthy body and soul you were designed to be.

5.      The world needs you to shine. You were born with beautiful & amazing things to bring into this world that only you have to offer. When you say yes to who you really are, you say yes to bringing those elements of yourself to life in the world and making it a better place for others.