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The powerful scent of love and how you are killing it

A few years back I stopped using deodorants and switched to a Thai crystal for health reasons. If you would like to find out how safe or dangerous your own beauty products are (it’s shocking!) you can research them on the non-profit EWG database here.  Anyway, my son was hugging me one day and he said “you smell interesting… and not in an objectionable way.” He’s got such a cute way with words. But this trend continued and I heard that more and more. I’m a big fan of hugging and have had an inordinate amount of people that I’ve hugged tell me that I smell amazing. Now I do also sometimes wear essential oils but for the most part whatever these folks are picking up on is something natural (I use very few products across the board- more on that in a later post). So I decided to do a little research and what I found was very illuminating.

Many fascinating research studies have explored our natural attraction through the sense of smell. Here are a few highlights to peak you interest:

  • Although it was long held that humans did not have the vomeronasal organ (for  pheromone reception) or the olfactory bulb in the brain (to process scents) scientific research from the last 25 years has now confirmed that we do in fact have both of these.
  • Research indicates that women seem to favor the smells of men who have immune genes that differ from their own which would lead to stronger, more diverse offspring.
  • Traits that can be communicated through smell include body and facial symmetry, testosterone levels, and behavioral dominance.
  • During the fertile part of their cycle, women prefer the scent of men with higher levels of testosterone.
  • One study found that when men smelled the odor of a woman who was in her fertile cycle, their testosterone and cortisol levels increased.
  • Studies indicate that using a hormonal contraceptive effects a woman’s ability to detect the chemical “social scents” that men put off.
  • Humans possess denser skin concentrations of scent glands than almost any other mammal.
  • We have three major types of skin glands, one of which is the apocrine gland which exudes odorous steroids known to illicit sexual behavior in other mammals.
  • Human sweat, urine, breath, saliva, breast milk, skin oils, and sexual secretions all contain scent-communicating chemical compounds.

what do we do with all of these smelly super powers?

So let’s recap. Mother Nature has supplied us with everything we need to literally sniff out a mate and what do we do with all of these smelly super powers? We cover them up with artificial scents and products! Think about how many products you use and the scents of each. Soaps, moisturizers, shampoo, toners, deodorants, perfumes and that is just what you are putting on your body. What about laundry products, detergents and fabric softeners, dryer sheets and all of the artificial scents that are now wafting off of you through these?

acceptance by the tribe

And why do we do all of this? To be perceived as being more desirable, in short  to, be accepted and  loved. Love is the most primal desire of a human being. We all want to engage in love and so we do what the marketing of products has conditioned us to do which is to purchase and slather upon ourselves things which we think will make us smell more desirable (or acceptable) to others. This is not just in searching for a mate but also in general “acceptance by the tribe”. We pick up pretty early in life that the “stinky kid” is not a part of the group and no one wants to be that guy so we go full tilt in the opposite direction with grooming, hygiene and product use that far exceeds the necessity of regular day to day human hygiene. Why do we all do this? We are literally saturated with marketing that plays on these fears and desires. If you really reflect on the marketing of your favorite products you begin to see how your perceived sense of need for this product has been formed. Then you can step away from that outside influence and start making your own choices. Personally, I really do sniff out my friends. If you carry a heavy smell of dryer sheets and perfume we probably won’t be spending a lot of time together. You see, once you clean up your own system you will quickly realize how unnatural and naturally off putting these smells are. And don’t even get me started on how much money you will save. Hmm. Seems like a win- are you ready?

A word of preparedness. If you are inspired to give up some products you should know what to expect. Our bodies adjust to whatever ridiculous environmental conditions we subject them to. If you’ve ever forgotten your deodorant on a weekend road trip, you’ve probably determined this is not a product you can live without for a few days. It takes time for your body to return to its ideal and natural state of functioning. The truth is that you will need to be more proactive for the first few weeks with a warm washcloth freshen up a few times a day. However, you will soon find that this dissipates and will become pleasantly surprised at how well your body regulates itself without the constant intrusion of harsh outside influences.


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The future of the Nacirema

I minored in anthropology in college and find it fascinating to look at the experience of life from the perspective of other cultures. One of the most illuminating is the Nacirema tribe of North America. I learned about them from the work of Horace Miner and new studies indicate even more bizarre ritualistic behavior than previously observed. 

It seems that every tribe member is born with an infinite supply of evol. Evol is believed to be the root of evolution. It sustains life and spirit in every way. It contains baffling  synergistic power when combined with the evol of others. Although researchers have concluded that it is indeed infinite and still remains in all tribe members, for some reason they rarely choose to activate or utilize their evol.

Researchers believe it is related to the introduction of yenom. Though few have actually seen the yenom, the leaders assure the tribes people that it exists and that it is of paramount importance that they earn points in the yenom system. Although it’s unclear why, all of the tribe members live in silent agreement that the yenom does in fact exist. They base their activities, relationships and pursuits within the tribe on the accumulation of points in the yenom system.

Studies indicate that although the yenom itself has no intrinsic value or power, it is in fact somehow related to the exchange of the natural power of the evol  that the tribesman are born with. For reasons unknown, the tribespeople willingly allow their evol to lie dormant most of the time, instead prioritizing the pursuit of points in the yenom system. Some scientist hypothesize that the return to the evol system would create a radical shift in the quality of life for the tribe as a whole. Though few seem willing to do so, instead following in silent agreement to the words and direction of the leaders of the tribe. Even more fascinating is the evidence that the leaders show no indication of the natural evol that is inherent to the tribe members. For this reason, it is difficult to predict what the future of the Nacirema holds.



Leveraging the Zombie Apocalypse to Improve Your Relationship

I was sitting on the roof the other night, with my neighbor, discussing what we would do if there was a zombie apocalypse and we were the last, and only person on earth. We both agreed we would find the coolest high performance car we could and just drive like crazy for a few hours, tearing it up. Then we very quickly realized how lonely it would be. Being that there were no other people on earth there would be nothing to live for and we agreed we would probably just be ok with dying. So it got me thinking about the people who are in fact still here and appreciating them more. This off course led me to the idea of perspective and choosing or not choosing to appreciate the people around me.

Not currently being in a relationship I’ve been working on objectively observing those around me who are to get ideas about what to do and not do when I am. One thing I’ve observed is an awful lot of nit picking. I think when we are in a relationship ourselves we don’t notice this as much simply because we are joining in, playing along with the band so to speak. However, from where I’m standing right now, I do see it. Sometimes it’s almost as if they don’t even want to like the other person? Sometimes it’s not that bad. We all fall within the spectrum somewhere from time to time though for a variety of reasons.  

So I ask you; If your partner were the only other person on earth that you had for companionship, would it really matter that they tap their toothbrush on the sink or stop to throw the laundry in the dryer even though you’re running late? I’m talking about the little things here. Little things we can choose to focus on or choose to let go? The more you consciously choose to  let those things go, the more it becomes habit (automatic, subconscious) to not even notice them and then, not even be bothered by them anymore. Try it, you will see!  However there is a bigger win to be had here as well. When we fill the space between us and another person with these low vibrating negative emotions and energies that is what we get. It literally dictates what manifests in our relationship. When we clear this space, we make room for higher vibrating, creation emotions to come in and fill the space. That’s the sweet spot, I’m pretty sure.

Hopefully there won’t be a zombie apocalypse. But just in case, why not appreciate each other now while we’re all still here.



5 Daily Ways to Increase Self-love


When it comes to practicing self-love there are no down sides. It only makes life better! Despite the selfie nature of our modern lives, self-love is often last on our list of priorities & daily practices. That’s just nuts in my book. The old airplane adage “Please put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others” applies here. Do you want more love in your life? Well guess what? Your ability to engage with love in the world increases dramatically when you foster it authentically from within first.   Like everything, the more you practice it, the more it will grow. Here are 5 quick easy ways to develop more self-love.



5 Reasons you absolutely have to start doing what you want to do right now

The best time to unlock your potential and live your life to the fullest is right now!

The best time to unlock your potential and live your life to the fullest is right now!

Knowing what path to take at any juncture in life is far easier then we have made it out to be. In it most simple form this quote from St. Augustine sums up the reality of your choices: “Love and do what you will.” The truth is that in your gut and heart of hearts you know what you want to do.Even if you are not in tune with it, your intuition is always working.   If that want fits the bill of this one simple universal law, well then you are free to do it! Not doing what you want to do (when this law is met) is not caring for your soul, saying no to your dreams, robbing the world of your true light that is working so desperately to shine. You need to stop that right now and here’s why.

Love and do what you will.
— St. Augustine


1.      Trusting your intuition empowers you. The flow of your creation cycle is natural. You have an inherent knowing of  what, who and how your being is. Living within that flow frees you from “shoulds” and worries, releasing more of your own energy to put into yes’s and a forward movement that feels not only natural but empowering. When you learn through experience, to trust your intuition, you begin developing that all empowering sense of faith that will naturally guide your life.

2.      It enables you to break free from limiting beliefs of others. 95% of your actions and beliefs are generated in your subconscious mind. The current subconscious mindset that you hold now was created by a lifetime of input. If you have not been doing what you want to do then basically 95% of who you are right now is the result of the input of others. Umm, no, just no. When you begin to stop and consciously choose your choices, your beliefs, and your life, your subconscious mindset then begins to become your own and begins to become aligned with your super-conscious where your intuitive knowing resides.  This alignment is amazeballs and brings true freedom and enlightenment.

3.      It enables you to get back in touch with your dreams. Your hopes and dreams are the fuel of your soul. Igniting the spark and fanning the flames of your dreams is what truly makes you feel alive. While the input and support of others can be very beneficial, how many of your dreams have been put to rest by well-meaning input from others. Others will often project their own fears and lack of belief when encouraging you to take a certain course of action. They may lack the vision needed to encourage your dreams. On some level, they may feel safer when those around them share their own misery of not realizing their dreams. Trusting your inner voice fuels your dreams, allowing you to free yourself from the conflicting voices of friends, family and the media.

4.      It nurtures a vibrant, healthy body and mind. Stress is one of the biggest factors in disease of the body and mind. It leads directly to physical suffering, as well as anxiety, lack of motivation, social withdraw, over eating, anger and a whole host of bad things that nobody wants anything to do with. When you take back the power of your own choices, when you love and do what you will, you naturally eliminate most of the real and perceived sources of stress, opening you up to be the vibrant healthy body and soul you were designed to be.

5.      The world needs you to shine. You were born with beautiful & amazing things to bring into this world that only you have to offer. When you say yes to who you really are, you say yes to bringing those elements of yourself to life in the world and making it a better place for others.



Why vision is the greatest gift we can give one another

A visionary is someone who thinks about and plans the future with imagination and wisdom. We are all inherently true visionaries at our core. Daydreaming of the possibilities in life inevitably leaves you with a smile on your face and warmth in your soul. Brining those dreams to fruition empowers our intuitive knowing that whatever we can dream and believe in, we can also achieve.  With the vision and birth of each dream we strengthen an unshakable belief. A belief that what is born through intuitive knowing in our imagination can be brought to life and made possible. The more we experience this, the stronger it becomes and the more able we become in bringing our dreams to life. Through this constant cycle of dreaming, realizing our dreams and then dreaming bigger still, we find our lives taking on meaning and purpose, the world becoming a better place, and the inevitable evolution of life continuing on its due course.

How many times have you imagined a possibility and thought to yourself. “It’s a little crazy, a little outside the norm, but hey maybe that could really be?”  You might keep your vision to yourself and work toward it. You might find success and those around you will say “wow, you go, that’s super cool”.  But that’s a long lonely road to go and frankly not much fun. Success comes most often through trial and error, learning, adapting and holding the vision of the light in your mind until it finally begins to flicker and catch fire. There are so many opportunities to let go, walk away, and settle back into the familiarity of what is rather than to continue to reach for what could be.

Now imagine if someone shared your vision, how much easier does it become to hold on, to keep moving forward, and to overcome hurdles and obstacles. Infinitely easier!  Just to have one person share your vision, to see the possibility, empowers you in almost immeasurable ways. It’s that little extra bit of oxygen you need to keep the sparks blowing when the flames have not yet taken hold. It’s turning around when you want to quit and seeing that person behind you shooing you onward. It’s the hand on your back that makes the last mile bearable. Though seemingly unremarkable, sharing the vision of another is one of the greatest things we can do for one another.



Shift Judgment Habits to Mercy Habits and Watch What Happens

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

The ways in which we become present and interact in our daily lives are simply the result of habits of thinking and practice. When we take steps to change those habits and practices we show up differently in life and life shows up differently for us.

We see life from our own perceptive based on our own habits and conditioning so changing just one habit will result in a greatly changed perspective on life. The habit to start shifting today is one of judgement.  You may ask “but if I don’t point out the inferior parallel parking skills of my friend who’s going to do it”.  Discernment is simply taking notice of how things are. So Joey uses the 30 point turn parking method. While judgment adds the implication that Joey’s parking compared to yours (here comes that ego) is contrasting and not meeting your approval. “Joey couldn’t park a smart car in a 20 foot space”.  

So why not judge?

Judging quite simply makes us unhappy. We are clinging to our dissatisfaction in another and not allowing them to simply be. Think about this, there is no anger, no disappointment, no suffering until we choose to bring judgement in.  When we are in more judgmental roles and periods of our lives things tend to fester and emotions run high. In fact the root of judgmental practices is often our own insecurities and fears. Our sense of ourselves and our own perfection feels threatened so we take action. Then those actions tend to hurt both other people and us. We know that hurt people, hurt people so the wave of negativity has the potential to grow even further.

How to shift to a practice of mercy.

Start by looking for the positive when you find judgment creeping in. What can you focus your mind on about this person or situation that is more positive?   This can be a good way to short circuit the judgmental practice. Next you want to take a merciful approach to the situation. I call this the “think like a parent ” approach. If that person was your child (or even your own parent) how would you want others to treat, talk to and think about them? Take that route yourself then. We tend to be far more merciful with close family so looking at even a total stranger, in this light can help frame the mental practice of mercy. Next, try being more patient, seeing things from their perspective and ultimately helping.  Judgment tends to simply harp on a problem while mercy solves it. There’s no time for judgment when you jump in and help. While the spirit and practice of judgement creates and maintains that contrasting line in the sand that divides you, mercy instead, leads toward reconciliation and unity.

When you look at all of this as a series of choices that then creates habits and ultimately your subconscious perspective you begin to see that the way out is really the same as the way in.