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love yourself

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Replacing Fear with Self-confidence

You know that crappy feeling in your gut when something is going on (in your mind usually) and you feel that old familiar feeling of fear brewing? It sucks and the sooner you can dissipate it, the more able you become to face and move away from whatever it is that is stimulating that feeling of fear inside you.

First let’s look at where the fear coming from? Putting aside the “I’m in the jungle facing a lion who is about to eat me” situation, fear is almost always an emotion that we generate or at least fuel within ourselves. The catalysts might be an event or person or situation in life but ultimately the extent to which that fear takes hold is determined within each of us. In most cases you can trace the root of fear to one of these causes:

1.      Indecision: Once we know what course of action we want to take, we feel confident and inspired to move forward.

2.      Doubt: Once we eliminate doubt the end result becomes irrelevant because we have full acceptance, confidence and self-love right here, right now and nothing more needs to occur. We have replaced out self-doubt with confidence and self-love.

When we become decisive and self-confident that  fear becomes replaced with resolve, ingenuity, enthusiasm & visions forwhatever greater future we see ourselves moving toward as well as acceptance for who and where we are right now.  At this point, no matter what is going on in your life you become infinitely more capable of navigating it with peace in your heart  and focused energy and vision in your mind.

So how can you move from indecision & doubt to decisiveness and confidence? By trusting your intuition and leaning into your own self-love you can quickly move from fear paralysis to inspired action. We all already have the answers within us, within our own consciousness. We have just been taught to look outside of ourselves for the answers. We have been taught to take a much less productive course of action when it comes to thinking through problems and our own emotions. Rather than looking within, becoming comfortable with our own intuitive knowing and moving forward confidently, we are taught to think about outside solutions, influences, possible outcomes and weigh and second guess all possible outcomes. At which point we either choose a course of action and hope for the best or choose to do nothing and remain in our situation.

We’ve all done this because we learn it through the conditioning of almost everyone around us. Few of us are blessed with a role model who teaches us by example, how to trust our intuition and move forward confidently when faced with a pivot point in life. Nope. We’re going to think that stuff through, make a bunch of list, weigh the pros and cons of every choice and overthink ourselves right into a deeper and more gripping fear.

How much of your fear is really based on the fact that intuitively you know you are not following your heart, not being true to yourself?

Ask yourself this. How much of your fear is really based on the fact that intuitively you know you are not following your heart, not being true to yourself? How much of it is bases on the idea that you are letting yourself downby seeking answers outside of yourself? Probably a lot of it! In this way all of that thinking and planning and strategizing just erodes your self-confidence and your connection to your inner self.

Try Something different! The next time you feel fear creeping in (fears about money, love, your station in life, a specific event or situation, which college to choose or job to take- whatever!)  try this approach.

  • Close your eyes and take several deep breaths
  • Let your body relax
  • Remind yourself by repeating aloud or in your head “I am wise and true and good and kind, I know intuitively, within me, exactly what I need to do”  repeat this several times as you continue to take deep breaths.
  • Let the fear feeling come for a visit and as it rolls around ask yourself “is this fear coming fromindecision or doubt”
  • Allow the answer to arise within you
  • If the root of the fear is indecision then repeat with each deep breath“I have the all of the answers within me and I intuitively know what to do”  Do this several times.
  • Next take a very deep breath and state “my decision is to_______” let your heart, mind and intuition fill in the blank with whatever comes first to mind.
  • If the root of the fear is doubt then repeat with each deep breath all of the positive features about yourself that prove this doubt wrong. For example if your fear is about a job that you are loosing you might repeat “I am highly skilled and will find an even better position that speaks to my soul “I am an amazing teacher and will find an even more flexible and rewarding position.” Etc. 

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5 Daily Ways to Increase Self-love

 

When it comes to practicing self-love there are no down sides. It only makes life better! Despite the selfie nature of our modern lives, self-love is often last on our list of priorities & daily practices. That’s just nuts in my book. The old airplane adage “Please put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others” applies here. Do you want more love in your life? Well guess what? Your ability to engage with love in the world increases dramatically when you foster it authentically from within first.   Like everything, the more you practice it, the more it will grow. Here are 5 quick easy ways to develop more self-love.

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Why taking off the “I’m ok” face is critical to Evolving your Soul Wisdom

You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.

In preparation for my new course, Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.

Soul Wisdom is the product of your evolution. It is what your soul craves, it comes from learning. From experiences both joyful and painful. Those “mistakes” are just your soul asking you to learn and grow, to listen, to become self-observant and evolve your soul through them. If you ignore your souls calling and keep making the same mistakes, it will eventually stop checking in with you and you will always be what you have always been. Your soul will say, “see ya next time around.”  You don’t want to let your whole life become the ghost in you.  

Are you still maintaining the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

This is a powerful and important insight you can gift yourself. It gives you the permission to stop putting on your “I’m ok face”- both to yourself and others. To stop and become self-observant, self-aware and ask yourself, “what is my soul calling me to here?” Maybe you said or did something you wish you hadn’t ? Maybe you had a great achievement or feeling you did not truly celebrate and relish? It works both ways.  A few years back, I made a conscious decision to start doing this. I’ve grown more comfortable sharing both my triumphs and vulnerabilities with others, as well as looking at them more objectively within myself.   And guess what? Not only did the world not stop turning (as I had feared it might) but it got richer, deeper, more real. This is a constant growth process, you don’t just flip a switch,  but the more you do it, the more it synergizes and supports its own growth. Becoming more objectively self-aware you can now stop and reflect and consciously choose how to integrate your feelings and experiences and move forward instead of subconsciously focusing your efforts on maintaining  the status quo, acceptable to the masses, persona that comes so naturally yet is so unnatural.

In doing this you not only free yourself of emotional baggage (you’d be surprised to find out how and where that stuff is mucking up your soul system) but you also give others permission to do the same through your example and  acceptance of  their soul growth as well.

Hopefully you are following my weekly live "Wednesday's at 1" Facebook videos. You can always go back and check them out there. You can also find the archives of the videos on YouTube!

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You don’t have to know yourself to be yourself (in fact it’s probably better that way)

Maybe we should trade in knowing ourselves for being ourselves? 

Maybe we should trade in knowing ourselves for being ourselves? 

You don’t have to know yourself to be yourself (in fact it’s probably better that way)

 

I am huge fan of being yourself which I’ve realized lately is different than knowing yourself. Who am I? IDK and I don’t much care. It seems to me that in defining ourselves, we immediately limit ourselves. All possibilities are limitless until you apply the limits of your own thinking. Boundaries are an illusion of the mind. Reflect on your own triumphs for a moment and I think you will agree that you are capable of anything. What we do and how we show up in life changes from moment to moment. In trying to define those things and ourselves & others are we not just applying limits, judgment and expectations? And wait, then are we living in the moment, enjoying the journey? Hell to the NO.

 

Your are not the same person you were when you started reading this post. You are turning over 96 million cells per minute. You have been introduced to ideas that you are synthesizing and are possibly shifting your mindset. “Always changing you are” as Yoda might say.  So why not just be that person whoever he or she is and revel in that? Being you is quite liberating and changes from day to day, moment to moment.

I don’t know "who" you are but I do know that you are a radiant journey of spirit- be that, and as my Dad always tells me… “enjoy the journey.”  

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