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stop negative thinking


The 3 step process to release rather than suppress negative emotions

Cheat Sheet

Emotions play a vital role in our existence

  • Emotions, sentiment, and passion are part of being alive and connecting with others.
  • Emotions often alert us to issues which we must choose to either work to resolve (take action) or choose to accept (allow the emotion to be released and return ourselves to balance).

Suppressing emotions is bad for you

  • Suppressing emotions causes stress.
  • Suppressing emotions can cause serious mental illness.
  • Suppressed  emotions negatively affect your physical health and well-being.  
  • Suppressed emotions wreak havoc in your subconscious mind and contribute to future negative life experiences.  

You have 3 choices when a negative emotion comes on the scene

  1. Address and/or fix the issue, if possible.
  2. Express your emotions if you can’t fix or address the issue.
  3. Suppress your emotions by denying that something painful happened to you!


Monday evening I found out that a friend of mine had passed away unexpectedly. Tuesday afternoon I received news that made me equally sad and joyful (that’s a weird feeling). So I spent the better part of the rest of Tuesday afternoon on the kitchen floor, propped up against the cabinets with my legs spread out like a four year old, crying and drinking iced tea.  

I’m proud of myself for this! The more we take off the “I’m ok mask” the more able we become to live our true, fullest and healthiest lives. Much of what we learn through our societal conditioning teaches and encourages us to adopt the practice of suppressing emotions.  That’s insane when you consider that emotional suppression causes system wide dysfunction and disease.

How suppressed emotions affects our bodies, our minds and our life experiences.

When you suppress an emotion it does not go away, it goes deeper! Rather than absolving and dissipating the negative emotional energy, we hold onto it unconsciously. Deeply rooted in our subconscious it then affects our bodies, our minds and our life experiences. Emotions create peptide and chemical signals which are sent to our cells.  The idea of sickness and disease being related to emotional dis’ease is now well documented in science. The suppressed negative emotions can often be a constant undercurrent to thinking patterns and loss of awareness and presence. They contribute to ongoing and worsening mental health issues, again this is not speculation but well documented. Deeply rooted and hard at work in our subconscious mind, the ramifications of the suppressed emotions play out time and time again subconsciously drawing us toward negative life experiences as we move forward.     

Signs you are suppressing an emotion

  • You distract yourself.
  • You avoid triggers that bring up an emotion (such as talking about a painful subject).
  • You find ways to blame others or circumstances for the pain.
  • You are using Substance abuse, eating disorders, or other additive type behavior as an escape.   

The 3 step process to release rather than suppress negative emotions.

  1. Stop and fully acknowledge and explore what happened to create the emotion. Remind yourself that you are not what happens to you. For example if a someone is cruel to you and you suppress the emotion you are likely attaching it to some feeling of self-worth, lack of self-love, some sense that you might somehow be deserving of the treatment. By spending time acknowledging the experience you become able to see it more logically and release the emotion in a healthy way.
  2. Let it out. A good practice can be to change your location, go to a place and body position where you will be free of distractions and allow the emotions to become fully present and released in whatever way feels natural. I sit on the kitchen floor crying. Some people may like to moan, to scream, to bang their fist on something (be careful!) but allow all of that energy to just be released in way that it feels called to be. Focus on your breathing, try not think, process or attach thoughts to the emotion at this point, just let it surface.
  3. Thank your emotions and look for the good that can come. Negative emotions are often illuminating something for us. A place to learn and grow, providing a catalyst for change perhaps? What light can you see within the darkness?  

Of course the best approach is to lessen your exposure to negative events & experiences in your life. Are you ready to make the shift from existing to thriving and take an active approach to how the whole rest of your life unfolds? Check out Miracle Space- I would love to work with you. 




How to Stop Negative Thinking

Learn how to stop negative thinking.

Learn how to stop negative thinking.

In preparation for my new course, Miracle Space, I’m doing a three week series to share some of the ideas and topics that we will explore in it. Be sure to follow my Instagram and Facebook pages to see even more from the series.  Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know when enrollment opens.

Your mind is an amazing and powerful machine that is running your whole entire life. You gather new information through your neocortex. Your limbic brain processes emotions and sends the chemical signals for those emotions out into the body (we need to talk more about this later), the cerebellum stores and process the thought data base of your subconscious. In fact the subconscious mind is responsible for 95% (or some say more) of everything that happens in your life. How you process ideas, make choices, speak, behave, interact, feel, etc are all the end result of whatever you currently have tucked away in there (points to head).

I realized it was not enough just to stop the negative thinking and now I know why.

Its stands to reason then that you might want to evoke some conscious awareness and control over the data in your subconscious mind. A big issue for many of us is the constant hum of negative thinking. I know I went through a phase where I stopped and said “I’m here” every time I had a negative thought. Well needless to say I was driving my car yelling “I’m here.” In the shower… “I’m here.” You get the idea. I realized it was not enough just to stop the negative thinking and now I know why.

Use visualization to create positive thinking.

Use visualization to create positive thinking.

You too might find yourself frequently ruminating about past or potential future outcomes or situations. When this happens are you being less positive and hopeful than you might like to be? What’s worse is that the more you do it, the stronger it gets. “It” being the negative status of your subconscious mind. That’s just neuroscience. The neural connections and pathways that you use most frequently in your brain get stronger. No worries though- the way out is the same as the way in. You’ve totally got this!

When it comes to negative thinking, neurologically speaking, if you don’t use it, you lose it! But our minds are addicted to thinking so when this happens; give your mind something positive to work with. Using the conscious “find and replace method” of stopping negative thoughts in their tracks and replacing them with the polar opposite positive variation allows you to rewire your subconscious mind. So for example, if you are anticipating something negative that someone might say in response to an upcoming conversation you are going to have, think about the best case scenario instead. Picture it, make the conversation come alive in your mind, visualize the details and feel the resulting good feelings! Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imagined. In this case you are laying the groundwork for words, choices, subtle body ques and all sorts of things that now offer the opportunity of triggering a more positive experience when the time comes.

The subconscious mind controls the way you think, feel and act. Plant something nice and you grow your life into something beautiful. Keep planting negative thoughts and you’re life grows from the seed that has been panted as well. Your choice!

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